aka “We Collect Data, But We’re Not Creeps.”
Who We Are
We’re Zero Woofs Given, a proudly unhinged dog-parent brand serving chaos-loving humans who just want the truth about dogs, drool and all.
Our website address is: https://www.zerowoofsgiven.com
(Hi. You’re already here.)
What We Collect (and Why)
We collect:
- Your name and email (when you subscribe, purchase, or bark at us)
- Your IP address and device info (because that’s how websites work)
- Your dog’s weird behavior stories (voluntarily, and with full delight)
We do this to:
- Send you chaos-packed emails you actually signed up for
- Deliver products you paid for (digital or physical)
- Improve our site and customer experience
- Occasionally cry tears of joy when someone relates to our life
Cookies (Not the Tasty Kind)
Yes, we use cookies—small data bits that help us remember you, improve your experience, and occasionally serve you ads for stuff you actually care about.
You can block cookies in your browser settings, but just know: the site might look a little weird if you do. We won’t be mad. Just slightly offended.
Who We Share With
Short answer: no one shady.
We only share your data with:
- Trusted email platforms (like Mailchimp or Flodesk)
- Payment processors (like Stripe or Shopify)
- Print-on-demand partners (for product delivery)
That’s it. No selling your info to weird supplement companies or sketchy MLMs.
Want to Leave?
You can unsubscribe, delete your info, or request a full data wipe anytime.
Just email us at contact@zerowoofsgiven.com and say something like “I want out” or “make it disappear.” We got you.
How We Keep It Safe
We use encrypted platforms and secure systems. No sticky notes with passwords. No sharing your info with Susan from accounting (we don’t even have a Susan).
Policy Updates
Sometimes we update this page when legal people tell us to. When we do, we’ll let you know. No shady changes here.
Contact
Questions, concerns, or legal-sounding rants?
Email us at contact@zerowoofsgiven.com.
We’ll respond somewhere between immediately and after our dog moves off our lap.
Last Updated: [2025-07-07]
Zero Woofs Given — All Fur. No Fluff. No Lies.